You forgot the millies, Harry? What if we had a smart fag backstage?

PRINCE HARRY is to be commended for his devotion to soldiers and soldiers wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan.

It is certain that he has genuine sympathy for their plight and there is no doubt that the Invictus Games he inspired are a good cause.

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But I’m quite taken aback to hear he believes the British media “didn’t report” the plight of soldiers who were blown up or killed.

Because that’s not how I remember it at all. . .

In 2006, I visited a paratrooper named Ben Parkinson whose Land Rover had hit a land mine in Afghanistan.

He had lost both legs, his spine was twisted, it looked like someone had smashed his skull in with a sledgehammer, and he was in a coma.

And there he was, being treated in a general ward at Selly Oak Hospital in Birmingham.

I was appalled and wrote a scathing critique of the situation, which The Sun decided to publish.

Shortly after, a man named Bryn Parry – who sadly passed away earlier this year – founded Help for Heroes with the aim of raising £5million to build a physio-swimming pool at the Ministry of Defense’s run-down military rehabilitation center in Surrey.

When I heard the news I threw a party and suggested friends knock on the doors of five billionaires and ask them to donate £1m each.

But it was an executive from The Sun who said no.

Instead, they suggested, “If we’re going to raise awareness of these wounded soldiers, it would be better if five million people donated a pound.”

Then The Sun went all out for Help for Heroes and that helped the charity ultimately raise not £5m but £370m.

And the support didn’t stop there.

The Sun also organized a glamorous military awards night, ‘The Millies’, where wounded soldiers and soldiers were able to meet big-name stars and royalty.

I’m surprised Prince Harry doesn’t remember this because I distinctly remember sneaking backstage with him for a year before the evening started for a wily fag.

Credit where it’s due

And it wasn’t just The Sun.

For months and years every newspaper was filled with news of the deaths and injuries.

Even the BBC got on board, bringing us plenty of live footage from the town of Wootton Bassett in Wiltshire, where everyone came outside and stood in somber silence as the conveyor belt of coffins rolled by.

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I know Harry has a problem with the media.

He’s got it into his head that it’s the root of all evil.

But he’s obviously allowing that anger to cloud his judgment.

And nothing good can come of it.

Think of it this way.

I have a problem with Harry.

I don’t like a lot of what he’s doing these days.

But I started this article by giving credit where credit is due.

Harry should consider doing the same.

COKE saves grace

AWESOME news from the lungs of the world.

Over the past year, illegal logging has fallen by a whopping 76 percent in certain parts of the Amazon rainforest.

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So what is responsible for this?

Did the woodcutters read about these pink-haired young ladies pouring soup on paintings, and then realized the error of their behavior?

Or was there some incredible government action?

“Do not be afraid. The fact is, the local cocaine lord doesn’t like these people trampling on his crops with chainsaws and has ordered his 2,000-strong private army to keep them away.

So. Cocaine. Boring as hell but saves the rainforest.

After air traffic control collapsed this week, airlines were furious, saying they must pay a fortune for the service and then compensate passengers when it fails.

An aviation source was quoted as saying: “It’s hard to imagine an industry where something is happening out of your control and you’re expected to pay millions.”

Um, farming?

Not a fury like Paris – the lady is a cracker

I don’t like boxing and I can’t stand commercials about pink people living pink lives in pink houses.

But Tyson Fury has always intrigued me a bit, so I decided to watch At Home With The Furys.

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And wow. What a performance. I did everything in one go.

It’s about Tyson, of course, and also about the gypsy lifestyle and boxing, but it’s also about mental health issues.

Not the kind of problems people have when their boss was terrible.

No, I mean real mental health issues. mood swings. Bigotry. And the dark, inexplicable depths of despair.

It’s also about Morecambe, which looks like St Tropez thanks to excellent drone work.

And it’s about Tyson’s kids, who seem to be about as brilliant as kids can be.

i loved everything But what I loved most was his wife Paris.

Many people have impressed me over the years, but none come close to this overwhelming vision of inner strength and down-to-earth straightforwardness.

How she leads this life with this man is difficult to understand.

But every once in a while you can see her looking at him while he’s plotting to buy an airport or going to Iceland for no reason, and it’s quite obvious that despite everything, she absolutely adores him.

It’s not editing. I know how editing works.

She’s a real deal. She is a saint.

A little late call. . .

A former Tory MP named Antoinette Sandbach is not a particularly respected person.

But for some reason, a Cambridge University historian discovered that her great-great-great-grandfather was involved in the slave trade.

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This seems to happen quite often these days.

Poor old Benedict Cumberbatch was trudging through life quite happily when someone found out that one of his distant ancestors had fired the arrow that got King Harold in the eye.

And it worries me.

How long before someone decides that my great-uncle Anne Boleyn’s uncle chopped off her head?

The producers of Who Do You Think You Are? this must be a cause for concern.

After all, who’s going to sign up for the show when there’s a risk of learning that their great-grandfather was in Auschwitz?

In a watchtower.

ULEZ is easy to defeat

So people in Outer London who don’t have access to an expensive modern car now have to pay a million pounds in Ulez fees if they want to drive across town to see their grandma.

Of course, many people are upset about this and now rampage around at night, smashing the Ulez cameras or spray-painting the lenses.

That’s stupid. You destroy something you paid for.

It’s like destroying your own house because you don’t like your electric bills.

It’s certainly far better to accept that the entire system is based on your car’s number plate.

So why not just organize a huge swap?

You put the number 32 man’s license plate on your car and he takes the number 68 man’s license plate and so on.

The whole system would collapse. And if you’re lucky, you might find someone who will let you use FUKH4N.