What if the other World Cup teams protested every British mistake?

A protester ran onto the pitch during Portugal’s match against Uruguay at the World Cup this week.

He waved a rainbow flag in support of LGBTQ+ rights.

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He was wearing a t-shirt that read “Save Ukraine” on the front and “Respect for Iranian Woman” on the back.

I don’t know which Iranian, but it doesn’t matter.

And before a match between Portugal and Uruguay? No, neither do I.

I suppose it’s a wonder he didn’t wear pants urging people to protest North Korea and a scarf angry about deforestation in the Amazon rainforest.

He was towed by the Qataris.

It was just the latest in a string of stupid, arrogant, self-important and virtuous protests by cocky Europeans during the tournament.

From the BBC’s Gary Lineker lecturing us all about the lack of LGBTQ+ rights in Qatar – something that didn’t bother him remotely as he picked up a ton of Wonga from Al Jazeera, Qatar’s state broadcaster, while on the job – down to the German team huddled with their hands over their mouths and claimed they had been silenced by the authorities.

The Germans wanted to wear those pointless rainbow bracelets.

So does England’s team. But the Fifa bosses have rightly put a stop to this.

Here’s the thing. Homosexuality is illegal in Qatar.

Well I don’t know what you think about that.

Whatever the case, Qataris – like 68 other countries around the world – don’t think homosexuality is okay.

And like it or not, the World Cup will be held in Qatar.

And this idiotic supporter – and all the broadcasters and the German and English football teams – are guests in their country.

If your legislation is that important to you, then don’t go to Qatar.

Brilliant former England international John Barnes got it right.

He asked how we would like it if African or Arab teams started protesting about the things in this country that they think we are wrong about.

And Barnes went further, arguing that the way we have been behaving towards the Qataris is actually racist.

He said: “Because of our arrogance, we still see ourselves as moral guardians, trying to ‘force’ the world to backtrack on our way of thinking.

“The rest of the world goes ahead with their own ‘independent’ development.”

That’s right, Barnesy.

Smug little heads

It is incredible arrogance on our part to castigate the belief system of a country where we play football.

We would go nuts, so to speak, if the boot were on the other foot.

But that has always been the problem for Western liberals.

They are forever absolutely certain that they are right.

There’s never room for doubt in their smug little minds.

They think that people who disagree with them are not just wrong, they’re evil.

It’s the kind of thinking that leads us into murderous and unnecessary wars, like when we decided to invade Iraq to help them.

And started a civil war that continues to this day.

Hopefully the German football team will be properly silenced by failing to qualify for the World Cup group stage.

And then maybe the rest of this year’s tournament can go on.

But without the self-righteous white Europeans trying to make it all about YOU.

Worst movie of all time

THE worst movie ever made in human history is celebrating its 20th anniversary.

You know the one I mean.

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That mimetic, right, middle-class, smug, soaking wet, mindless barrel of rat puke Actually love.

Even just naming the title makes me a little queasy.

Apparently, the film’s star, Hugh Grant, called it “psychotic.”

If only it were. It might have piqued our interest a little longer.

It was even worse than Titanic.

How was it such a hit? When it came out, our whole country suffered a massive spontaneous embolism?

It is one of the great mysteries of our time.

A time to get tough

CHINA is a country in rebellion.

There are riots and protests across the country, from Urumqi in the west to Beijing in the east.

In part, it’s a response to the state’s insane zero-Covid policy.

But it’s also a painful cry for freedom and democracy in the most bullying, totalitarian, communist country of the world.

Unfortunately, none of this will end well. People are imprisoned and tortured.

Rishi Sunak is right when he condemns the Chinese leadership.

We should be tougher on China.

And strengthen our ties with Taiwan, which is threatened with invasion.

Wales had it all

THAT should silence the Welshman for a while. Well and properly filled.

Serves them right if they give it big before the game.

Footage of the players celebrating England’s defeat by Iceland. Kieffer Moore – a Moor-standard Championship forward, to be honest – spoke about how they would hammer the English.

You haven’t heard about this boast from the English side.

Next time maybe leave it buttoned up until after the game.

Why Rita’s next song should be about Worksop. . .

MANY thanks to Rita Ora for showing us what an amazing country Albania is in her documentary with Louis Theroux this week.

Lively capital, beautiful sunny weather, happy young people walking around the world carefree and enjoying free pop concerts.

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So why in God’s name are they all coming here?

Don’t they know how it is?

I think Rita would be doing both countries a public service by telling them the truth.

And I wrote a song that she can have for free to get the message across. . .

What could be crazier

When to leave Albania

For Worksop, Andover or York

It’s cold and it’s wet

And everyone is in debt

So stay in Tirana you idiot

Fight for the right

TRANSGENDER cyclist Emily Bridges has vowed to keep fighting for the right to compete against women.

Sorry Em, it’s a losing battle.

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Sports authorities are gradually realizing the fact that it is simply not fair for men to compete against women.

The tide is turning on this topic – in politics as well as in sport.

Beautiful atomic world

I KNOW we have an energy crisis.

This is because 20 years ago we didn’t make hard decisions to invest properly in nuclear energy.

Freeing ourselves from dependence on foreign countries for our gas and oil.

But relaxing onshore wind farm regulations is not the solution to our problem.

These wind farms are a nuisance to the landscape. And terrible for wildlife.

Perhaps worse, they cannot be relied on to provide us with the energy we need.

They don’t work when the wind is too strong. And they don’t work when there’s no wind at all.

The answer is the same today as it was 20 years ago. Invest in nuclear energy.

THE latest census gives us some pretty startling statistics.

Whites now make up 81.7 percent of the country — down from 86 percent over the past decade.

One day this country will actually look like what the TV commercials portray it now.

Bunged an MBE

In the past, athletes were honored after 20 years of amazing achievements in their chosen discipline.

Tennis player Emma Raducanu is 20.

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She just won a major tournament. And she just got an MBE.

Look, I have nothing against Emma.

She seems like a lovely kid and I was as excited as any man when she won the US Open last year.

But so soon an MBE?

Can’t we wait until she wins something else?

Or do we worry that she might not?