DAWN FRENCH says one of the most famous scenes on TV left her suffering a decade of debilitating pain, dozens of injections and surgery.
And what did she do about it?
Grinned, endured it and didn’t say a word (until now).
The actress has revealed an attempt to recreate the classic Vicar Of Dibley scene in which she jumped, wellies first, into a body-sized puddle, which resulted in her having to use a cane and having difficulty walking.
In a one-woman show, she claimed producers of the Paul O’Grady chat show asked her to recreate the moment.
She described the idea as “catastrophically misguided,” adding: “They built a 10-foot-tall hill out of scaffolding covered in artificial turf.
“The idea was that there was a long enough abyss for me to disappear into.
“Then some clever person came up with the idea of putting a flat silicone membrane on top that held two inches of water so that when it jumped through, the water would splash up and look like a deep puddle.
“I went 10 feet down and straight onto the two fall protection mats.
“One leg twisted very awkwardly underneath me and I landed very heavily.
“I heard the worst ringing noise you could imagine.
“I knew I was in trouble, but I finished the sketch.
“I definitely felt that I would rather die than admit my weakness.”
So what did Dawn do?
She drove five hours home to Cornwall, bought a walking stick and quietly lived her life as best she could.
What she didn’t do was call InjuryLawyers4U.com.
She didn’t sell her story to this newspaper either, or (not) OK! Magazine.
By her own admission, she didn’t have “two functioning legs” since the accident, but she did have a Trojan horse.
No money was made and no compensation claims were made.
We should all be more Dawn.
Instead, the compensation culture continues to thrive post-pandemic.
From the comfort of their velvet couches, workers are suing employers over internet costs (despite saving a small fortune on travel, childcare and grocery bills).
PPI companies continue to try it – no, I’ve never been in an accident that wasn’t my fault, thank you very much – and more and more people are trying it with their (good) arm to make a quick buck.
No-win, no-fee lawyers are having a field day, and real, truly sick people who need help, support and financial assistance are being denied it.
Seriously ill people are stigmatized and judged.
Payouts from health authorities have increased dramatically in recent years – even before Covid-related claims for damages began to leak out.
A while ago, “paralyzed” Shean Saunders, from Yeovil, Somerset, who was pocketing thousands of pounds in disability benefits, was secretly filmed playing rugby.
And in July, Rotherham woman Michelle Hanney – who claimed £30,000 in disability benefits – was caught out after she was seen riding a horse on Facebook.
Even Rod Stewart recently admitted he was no longer allowed to throw signed footballs into the crowd at stadium performances after being hit with two lawsuits.
The list goes on. And further. And further.
What message does it convey to the generation of tomorrow?
Twist an ankle, buy a Range Rover.
Obviously, today we need measures to protect against mistreatment in the workplace and to protect general well-being at all costs.
But compensation culture is a blight on Britain – it is turning us into a nation of entitled wimps.
Unabated anger in the Moodie household yesterday.
When my mother picked up her prescription from the doctor, she was asked her date of birth.
After the 11/11/50 reply, the woman replied, “Sorry, 15 or 50?”
Either she thought my mother was born in 1915. . . or that she was seven years old.
Dan’s great trip
YES, yes, he is a very. Bad. Man.
But was there really – after we discovered that he “posed no threat to the general public” – anyone in Britain who wasn’t secretly campaigning for escaped prisoner Daniel Khalife?
As someone whose favorite film is The Great Escape (Notting Hill and Speed notwithstanding), I was enthralled by this story all four days.
As a story of cunning daring – making straps out of bed linen! Escape in white chef clothes!
Found him holding a Waitrose bag for life! – definitely a script?
And let’s be honest: He’s no Jabba the Hutt.
A long stretch behind bars is quite rightly tempting.
But before we throw away the key, we should certainly put this ingenuity to work for MI5 first.
WHO knew a carnation could be a camp?
It turns out that Kew Gardens has announced a new festival, Queer Nature – a celebration of LGBTQ mushrooms and plants.
The attraction features species “that challenge traditional expectations” and features a cabaret where “mushroom performers will make you question everything you thought you knew.”
So, let’s go.
TAKE KYLIE 2
HOW do you notice that you are getting old, part 312.
The headlines over the weekend read: “Kylie and her new love Timothee Chalamet share a passionate kiss at the US Open” and of course my first thought was “Fair play, Kylie Minogue – approaching a 27-year-old.”
Kylie Jenner, not Minogue, is dating the current Hollywood star.
And for Generation Z, Ms. Jenner is the one and only Kylie.
BLAME THE BULLY OWNER
NO dog is born sociopathic. Unfortunately, some owners are.
Interior Secretary Suella Braverman is calling for a ban on the American XL Bully breed after another rogue animal mauled an 11-year-old girl.
There’s no doubt that these squat, muscular creatures can wreak havoc and take lives.
When a Pomeranian has a bad owner, you simply shake off an annoying, yapping little ball of fur.
If an XL Bully takes a nasty hit, you’ll be torn apart by 50kg of tendons and muscle – and suffer a long, slow death.
But as with any misbehaving pet, the problem is not the dog, but those who buy it.
We shouldn’t wipe out entire races. We should license and police those who want them as a status symbol.
These animals are not bought as pets – they are weapons.
Just as guns, knives and machetes are banned in this country, these pieces of equipment should also be banned.
I’m not sure about you, but all I’ve ever wanted is a partner who was born weighing 7 pounds 8 ounces.
Yes, apparently opposites don’t attract – and a phenomenon called “assortative mating” causes us to look for boyfriends/girlfriends who “have similar political leanings, religious views, educational levels, and similar IQs.” . . and (um) similar weight at birth.”
BIG day in Whitehall this Thursday: Westminster Dog of the Year Show.
Disturbingly, as my friend cheerfully pointed out, two of the participants are named Clemmie.
Step forward MPs Peter Gibson and his Jack Russell, Clemmie, and Ruth Edwards and her black Labrador, also Clemmie.
The two Clemmies face strong competition from Jeremy Hunt (poppy: Poppy), Rosie Duffield (Paco) and Mims Davies (TJ).
In a case where life mirrors art, Ruth of Rushcliffe MP Ruth’s Clemmie “writes” of her candidate biography: “I have wide eyes with which I try to urge my people to give them their dinner, lunch, breakfast , handing over cups of tea – anything, actually.” .”
KATE DON’T EVEN LOOK THAT HOT
KATE MOSS is one of the most famous supermodels in the world.
She is also the boss of her own wellness brand, Cosmoss. He founded the company by saying, “When I started taking care of myself, things started to change.” LOL.
Having started vaping – along with 4.5 million other Brits – she’s apparently back to the harder stuff.
Children, don’t smoke.