Tom Parker’s widow Kelsey deserves a new future with a new man – life is short, says Ulrika Jonsson

Attending The Sun’s moving Who Cares Wins awards on Tuesday night, I saw that despite everything she’s been through this year, Kelsey Parker hasn’t lost her sparkle.

She looked friendly and content.

Kelsey has stayed strong following the death of her beloved husband Tom, father of her two young children

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Kelsey has stayed strong following the death of her beloved husband Tom, father of her two young childrenCredit: PA
It's heartwarming that she's found new love with a new man — even if he's been serving time for another man's murder

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It’s heartwarming that she’s found new love with a new man — even if he’s been serving time for another man’s murder

None of us can really know how she must be feeling after losing her beloved husband Tom, father of her two young children, to a brain tumor in late March this year.

The news this week that she might be in a relationship with someone new made my heart feel a little happy.

Many of us have followed the story of Kelsey and The Wanted singer Tom from the time he announced his diagnosis until his death.

We have invested sympathy and goodwill.

But life throws curveballs – Kelsey knows that.

And the relationship she reportedly started is with a man, Sean Boggans, who was convicted of killing another man with a single blow to the head.

He’s served time for his crime.

It could prove to be a cruel twist of fate that Kelsey, who so desperately deserves love and happiness, becomes involved with someone many of us would avoid.

Deep Void

Our instinct towards her is a protective instinct. We want the best for her, we don’t want to cause her any further harm, so we jump on our moral high horse right away.

I assume Kelsey knew about Sean’s past and it came as no shock when she read about it.

And while some of us feel like we’ve met her in the last year or so, we don’t know Sean or what he could possibly bring to her life.

Grieving is not a linear process, there is nothing prescriptive.

Progress is never easy and we all grieve in different ways.

It’s a fact that women who lose a partner don’t usually find a new one as quickly as their male counterparts.

This may be because there are more widows than widowers and women tend to live longer.

It may also be that men are emotionally more dependent on their partner and therefore have a greater need for a new partner. who really knows

But just because someone is starting a new relationship doesn’t mean they’ve moved on.

Moving on implies that everything past is suddenly forgotten and the bereaved jumps into a new life with reckless abandon.

For Kelsey, that would be impossible. She is the mother of two very young children aged two and three.

Her priority is and will always be those little angels that she and Tom created together. You will keep her grounded.

But she’s also a woman in her own right and has spoken about the deep void left by Tom’s death.

I’ve always felt that you never feel as alone as when you’re alone with young children.

Despite the strong circle of friends and family that surrounds Kelsey, she must have felt so incredibly alone.

While everyone around her will no doubt be interested in helping her on a practical level, it is the emotional, psychological and physical needs that will be more difficult to support.

All she’s doing now is trying to build a different life for herself – away from being a mother, but most of all from this dark veil of being Tom Parker’s widow.

She’s Kelsey, and she deserves a new life — at just 32. It is not up to us to decide when she may begin this life.

Nor should we judge who this life should be with.

I dated a criminal not long ago. Some people might think I’m crazy.

But I took a considered mind and my priority was the safety of myself and my family – which I didn’t feel was threatened.

I don’t know anything about Sean and he could be a nightmare or a knight in shining armor.

But since my brief fling with the criminal, I know that other men have hurt and emotionally damaged me with far worse consequences than the criminal ever did.

I’m sure Kelsey would agree that whoever enters her life will never replace the love of her life, Tom.

Perhaps most obviously because it lives on in their children.

But if she’s able to glean a few moments of happiness in someone else’s company away from being a mother and a widow, I hope she grasps it with both hands.

Life is short. Kelsey knows.

THE DARK SIDE OF FASHION

I thought we were smarter about sexualizing young kids these days - really, a teddy bear in bondage gear?

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I thought we were smarter about sexualizing young kids these days – really, a teddy bear in bondage gear?Credit: Jam Press/Balenciaga

I’ve never been a high fashion or haute couture girl.
Can you tell?

I just feel like it’s a lot of overblown nonsense – most of which I don’t understand.

Catwalks tend to be populated by skinny models wearing the weirdest things you wouldn’t even invite to a costume party.

So I shouldn’t have been really surprised when I saw that the fashion house Balenciaga – which dresses like the Kardashians – had shown a campaign featuring a small child holding a teddy bear dressed in bondage gear, right.

Following the public outcry, the brand quickly apologized and continued to talk about how seriously they take things like this and how they intend to take legal action against the photographer.

So is it all her fault? For real?

I’ve shot enough photography, marketing, and advertising in my life to know that there’s always an army of people present at every session.

The mere notion that this could have just been a rogue photographer doing his own thing just doesn’t fit.

I thought we were smarter these days about sexualizing young kids.

In the past, when big names featured young girls in G-strings and crop tops, there was outrage.

But a teddy bear in bondage garb – whose clever idea was that?

“BREAK FOR THINK

On the surface, encouraging companies to adapt work patterns for menopause sounds great — but we also need to think about the big picture

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On the surface, encouraging companies to adapt work patterns for menopause sounds great — but we also need to think about the big picturePhoto credit: Getty

NHS ENGLAND chief executive Amanda Pritchard says “flexible work patterns” should be considered for menopausal women as they often suffer in silence and should not be expected to grin and put up with it.

For many, the symptoms can be debilitating and include hot flashes, brain fog, exhaustion, sleep deprivation, anxiety, and headaches, to name a few.

It can be horrifying.

So the idea that employers should consider giving some ‘allowances’ to women who have to endure this by giving them ‘lighter jobs’ is, on the surface, to be welcomed.

But while I’m thrilled that we’re shedding a light on menopause and its collateral damage, I wonder if it won’t also stir up some workplace resentment from those who don’t suffer greatly or who never experience menopause.

Or by men who somehow use it as an excuse to feel marginalized and excluded from what they might consider “benefits.”

For example, I know that some workers who don’t have children feel resentment towards colleagues who have children – they may have to leave the office early etc. and are given a bit of accessibility by their bosses.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t show some empathy towards “women of a certain age” and stage of life, but I do see potential problems on the horizon.

I’m not exaggerating, I’m in a blind panic.

In the last two years a passport might not have been very necessary, so my Swedish passport has been gathering dust without my giving it much thought.

Except that it expires in February – and I’ve spent the last month or more relentlessly trying to get an appointment at the Swedish embassy to get it extended.

I appealed to them in sheer, naked desperation and got the answer: “bad luck”, “keep trying” or “go to Sweden and have it renewed”.

Presumably the latter would only work if I could travel before the damn thing ran out.

But also in Sweden there is a huge backlog and it could take up to two months.

Perhaps the Swedish ambassador to the UK, Mikaela Kumlin Granit, would like to call me and explain what’s going on.

Or, better yet, take action and fix this nightmare – I know I’m not alone.

Sun Awards Night happily showed who really cares

Even in these dark times, I couldn't help but walk away from The Sun's Who Cares Wins awards with my faith in humanity restored

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Even in these dark times, I couldn’t help but walk away from The Sun’s Who Cares Wins awards with my faith in humanity restored

There isn’t much optimism at the moment. These are dark times we live in.

With energy costs sky high and so many other things, the light at the end of the tunnel does indeed seem dim.

So it was a heartwarming, uplifting and joyous privilege to spend the evening with the nominees and winners of The Sun’s Who Cares Wins awards on Tuesday night.

I’ve met the likes of Best Midwife nominee Wanda Warrington and her granddaughter Amelia Chadwick below.

The awards, shown on Channel 4 on Sunday night, were exactly the boost I was longing for.

The evening honored healthcare heroes in the NHS and in our communities who do extraordinary things for others, many of them on a volunteer basis.

People are just realizing how to unlock shopping carts without a £1 coin
Mike Tindall reveals the secrets of staying at the Palace in I'm A Celeb.

It was a reminder that even in these difficult times, there are people who not only feel sorry for themselves, but step on the stage, take action and help others.

I left with restored faith in humanity.

https://www.the-sun.com/news/6769574/tom-parker-widow-kelsey-new-love-ulrika-jonsson/ Tom Parker’s widow Kelsey deserves a new future with a new man – life is short, says Ulrika Jonsson

DevanCole

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