The university is not what it is supposed to be – there are many disadvantages and think about alternatives

DEAR kids, hey – good luck with the Abitur results today.

I hope your grades are somewhere at the beginning of the alphabet. There might be a few stars too.

College ain't what it's supposed to be - it just helps you avoid racking up that debt for three years of idiocy


College ain’t what it’s supposed to be – it just helps you avoid racking up that debt for three years of idiocyCredit: Alamy
Viz character Millie Tant


Viz character Millie TantCredit: viz

The problem is that this year it’s a bit more difficult because the examiners are grading your work and not your own teachers.

It was a bit like your mom grading your essays, wasn’t it?

A little cheating. That’s why almost everyone who could spell their own name got a sack full of ace.

It just meant the universities couldn’t say who to admit and who to avoid. If everyone gets an ace, it’s a bit meaningless.

But I hope you get the grades you need to fulfill your offer for this course in Resentment Studies at the former Rugeley Polytechnic.

Or maybe think again. I’m not saying don’t go to college. All I’m saying is look at the cons of walking.

And maybe wonder about a few alternatives.

Because right now you are heading towards massive debt. At least £30,000. And there is no guarantee of a job at the end.

You might end up spending all that money just to ask people if they want fries with it.

Worse still, your university may decide not to accept you because you are too white. Or too manly. Or come from a family that does not live on the subsistence level.

And when you get in, those three years could be pretty awful.

You’ll be hanging out with STUDENTS for starters, which is bad enough.

But the teachers are even worse.

Universities used to be places to learn wonderful new ideas from an incredibly broad perspective.

No longer. Today our universities are monocultures where you only hear the views of the radical left.

No place for freedom of expression. No place for dissenting voices.

Argue with your professor when he says Britain is an imperialist, racist hellhole and he will write you off.

You will be skinned all the time. Since three years. Hauling a truckload of laundry for your mom every few months.

Exchange with Viz character Millie Tant, who practices queer studies and thinks cheese is racist.

What you could do is work, in an apprenticeship. Such as higher vocational training – tailor-made for you if you haven’t fully internalized your grades yet.

The benefits are enormous. You will make decent money to start with.

You get paid vacation time. And on the way to an advanced degree, you’ll learn something practical.

Skills that make you useful in a whole range of professions.

Lots of apprenticeships for engineering students.

But there are also cyber security professionals or nurses or chartered managers.

Or even a cop – make good money while you learn how to paint your squad car rainbow colors and arrest people for imaginary hate crimes.

Anyway, just saying. I’m just trying to help you not accumulate this debt and endure three years of idiocy.

The university is no longer what it used to be. And it’s not what it’s supposed to be.

Go if you want, but you don’t HAVE to go.

Buy United? You Musk are joking

Oh how we laughed.

Elon Musk tweeted that he was considering buying Manchester United.

Elon Musk tweeted that he is buying Man Utd


Elon Musk tweeted that he is buying Man UtdPhoto credit: AFP

Tagged thousands of Rot fans asking him to do just that.

“Just kidding,” came the reply.

Life is an endless series of terrible disappointments for Manchester United fans – and that’s the way it should be.

Even so, at least most of their supporters had a very short trip home after that banging at Brentford.

Fats a real rickets

THE posh people’s magazine The Economist is in trouble.

Our most correct release has managed to enrage the entire Middle East.

Enas Taleb's photo was used by The Economist and she is now suing over the immense damage done to her


Enas Taleb’s photo was used by The Economist and she is now suing over the immense damage done to herCredit: AP

An article appeared asking why Arab women are always so fat.

This angered many Arabs – men and women.

But above all, the Iraqi actress Enas Taleb, whose photo served as evidence. Oh man.

She is now suing for the immense damage that was done to her.

Enas is a bit big tbh but no worse than me.

What’s next from the ‘inclusive’ Economist: ‘Why do Chinese women have weird eyes?’ and ‘Can Spaniards count?’.

Enough with the stupid quota

Some senior boss in the RAF has resigned.

She is concerned that diversity goals mean there has been a “pause” in hiring white male recruits.

Former Health Minister Sajid Javid


Former Health Minister Sajid JavidPhoto credit: Rex

Former health minister Sajid Javid thinks that’s absurd.

The RAF should not hire by race, he added.

Well that’s it Saj mate. And that on behalf of the government.

Drop diversity goals in the public service and armed forces, and we might think the government means business.

And as for the RAF. . . Just pick the best possible candidates for the job, you jerks.

I don’t care if it’s a one-legged trans woman from Bangladesh as long as he – or she, ffs – can shoot Russkies.

Crazy mullahs

THE Iranian government is absolutely delighted that Salman Rushdie was stabbed.

The mad mullahs jumped for joy.

The Iranian government is delighted that Salman Rushdie was stabbed


The Iranian government is delighted that Salman Rushdie was stabbedCredit: PA

There are about 50 Islamic countries in the world.

And almost none of them have freedom of speech.

But then they are no worse in this regard than China, North Korea, the vast majority of Africa, Russia, Belarus, Laos, Cuba. . . the list is almost endless.

Therefore, any restriction of freedom of expression in this country must be fought.

It’s not a side issue.

It shouldn’t be something we take for granted because it’s always under threat.

Freedom of expression is precious and we must never stop fighting to protect it.

THE weather hysteria is taking on absurd proportions.

Heavy thunderstorms and so much rain we’ll all drown, they told us.

Close the hatches! Hide in the basement if you have one!

Up where I am we had a low rumble of thunder and a refreshing downpour for about 12.5 minutes.

I know other areas were more affected.

But it wasn’t quite the catastrophe predicted, was it?

Be smarter, doc

At least 1,000 families are said to be suing the Tavistock Gender Clinic for its reckless and highly harmful treatment of young, troubled people.

I assume that several thousand more will follow.

I wonder how long it will be before the head of the Gender Identity Development Service, a psychologist named Dr.

Being trapped by a stupid ideology is not a license for irresponsibility.

Transport Secretary Grant Shapps has suggested that we should introduce speed limits for cyclists.

good call This also applies to number plates for cyclists.

What about fines for driving on the sidewalk?

And fines for driving in lanes when there’s a bike lane?

Also fines for cyclists with the craziest helmets and smug faces.

It’s Jez, my happiness

SOME scientists have made a list of countries where it might be possible to live after nuclear war.

Unsurprisingly, Australia tops the list.

With our old friends Argentina.

Although that wouldn’t be true if we destroyed THEM, would it?

According to the scientists, about 98 percent of the people in Great Britain would die of starvation two years after the nuclear weapons hit.

Time to hoard the canned tomatoes, pasta and toilet paper again, I suppose.

But imagine walking out of your bunker and learning that 98 percent of the population is dead.

And then you saw Jeremy Corbyn walking down the street. The university is not what it is supposed to be – there are many disadvantages and think about alternatives


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