Speed ​​limit 20 km/h?! Why not ban cars and make us hop around everywhere?

ALL roads in central London have a speed limit of 20mph and there are now calls for this to become the blanket maximum in all towns, cities and villages across the country.

One of those calls came from my colleague James May, who went on the radio this week to say 20 is enough.

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Of course you think James May would say that.

Known as Captain Slow, he has never been faster than 20 in his entire life.

But there’s something you don’t know about James.

He practically lives in the socialist cesspool of Twitter, following not only Sir Starmer but also the deranged Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan.

He even follows this Cycling Mikey man as he drives around London with his kid’s toys, videotaping everyone in a car who he thinks might be Tory.

So James, like all Twitter enthusiasts in the world, doesn’t get a balanced perspective to form his opinion.

He only listens to leftists vying with each other to come up with the most far-left ideas.

The fact is that in most cities, the average traffic speed on most roads is already in the single digits.

In Oxford, at rush hour, people can only dream of making 20.

Most have been a traffic jam since about 1967.

Of course, in all inner cities there are some streets where people can and do exceed the 30 mph limit by speeding along at 40 or even 50 mph.

And do you think they will stop when the limit goes down to 20?

In the idealistic socialist world of Twitter, perhaps.

But in the real world where I live it won’t make a difference.

Some people will always drive too fast because they are crazy.

Or, to use the polite word, “motorcyclist”.

There is another, bigger problem.

Even when the road is quiet, it’s almost impossible to drive at 20 km/h.

Eventually there will always be a downhill stretch where you accidentally hit 25.

Which will net you a hefty fine.

Land with a hefty fine

The only way to avoid this is to keep staring at the speedometer and not get distracted by the sounds of all those strollers and mobility scooters pulling at you because you’re not paying attention to where you’re going.

Of course people say 20 is safer and greener.

But if those are the goals, don’t you make the limit five? Or one?

Or why not ban cars altogether and force us to hop to work instead?

That’s almost certainly what the Twitter army wants.

Because in their electronic world, where you’re not allowed to say this and think that and nobody has real friends, it makes perfect sense to curb a normal person’s desire to travel.

Which brings me back to Oxford, where residents now have to apply to local government for permission to drive to their mother’s house if she lives across town.

Welcome to the GDR around 1965.

Be honest – women are in pantyhose

IT IS that time of year when all the crazies of the world decide what fashion girls will wear this summer.

Two weeks ago, they showed off a new dress that appeared to have a full-size male lion’s head pinned to the front.

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And now they’ve announced that girls will be wearing pantyhose below the belt. . . and nothing else.

Really? tights? Haven’t they seen what they do to a burglar’s face?

Term holds water

Laughter erupted when it was revealed that some of the country’s heavily criticized water utilities still use dowsing to detect leaks.

Yes indeed. We live in a world where we can discover traces of an exotic gas in a distant galaxy, but your local water company still asks their employees to use two bent hangers to check for leaks.

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“They don’t even work,” everyone shouted when the story first surfaced.

And it’s true. There is no scientific reason why two wands can detect the presence of water deep underground.

But here’s the thing. You can.

I use them all the time on the farm and they really point to water sources.

If it’s left, swing left. If it’s to the right, they swing right, and if you’re standing over an underground stream, they cross.

It’s bizarre and also a bit fantastic that in the modern world we still have things that cannot be explained.

Go around the curve

THE government has decided that everyone in the country should live within 15 minutes’ walk of a green space or water.

Sounds great, but wait. Almost every city in the country is built on a river, so most of us live near water anyway.

The only one I can’t think of is Milton Keynes.

But that’s fine because everyone there lives within 15 minutes of a roundabout, which is some kind of green space.

A joke? “Don’t worry. Because when the government says “green space”, you think they are talking about a moor or a heath.

You are not.

You define a disused railway line as a green space. And an allotment. And a playing field.

According to this, everyone lives 15 minutes away from a green space or water.

This means that the government has launched a policy that requires no action.

Fate’s fickle finger

PAUL BURRELL, the former royal butler, announced this week that medical treatment he was forced to take before signing on to appear on a TV show revealed he had prostate cancer.

Hmmm. I’m forced to do this TV medicine about every 20 minutes so I know how it goes.

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Doctor: “Are you alright?”

Me: “Yes, thank you.”

Doctor: “Okay. Until next time.”

At no point did any of them ever put a finger up my butt.

Most don’t even bother to take my blood pressure.

So how did they detect prostate cancer? I doubt they would even notice if my head fell off.

dew point

A BOFFIN recently developed a new flavor of ice cream that neither sinks nor floats.

He is very enthusiastic about it and explains how he used temperatures down to minus 200 degrees and ball bearings in a “ball mill”.

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But he concedes that if you put his new ice cream in a gin and tonic, it would melt pretty much instantly.

This raises the question: What is normal ice cream all about, and what is it not?

CONSERVATIONALISTS were disappointed when a rare white-tailed eagle they had raised on the Isle of Wight fled to Sweden almost immediately.

They had hoped to reintroduce the species to England, but a satellite tracker revealed it had a short flight around Cornwall and East Anglia before crossing the English Channel and heading to Stockholm.

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Only now, two years later, has he come back.

Why? Well, it might have something to do with the fact that there has been a shooting or bombing in Sweden every day since Christmas.

And that could also explain why he’s missing one of his legs.