Men have a biological need for protection and defense. They are classically the ones who have been more romantic and daring in love. Now that we have fallen prey to postmodern ideologies, men are no longer socially allowed to be fighters or lovers. The abandonment of these great endeavors has left many men hungry for meaning, because if they can’t be a lover or a fighter, then what exactly are they?
The struggle to find meaning
I was that girl who was always surrounded by a group of male friends. Growing up as a tomboy was fun, but things changed over time. drastic.
I like to listen to others and feel like they empathize. When I hear about men and observe their problems, I have found that most men feel that they have no place at all in our society. It’s as if neo-feminism has taken hold so strongly that men are being pushed aside. In movies, television, music, advertising, and the print media, manly men have been replaced by a fantastical version of effeminate men who bow down to women as if we were their rulers.
In comics, Thor is now a girl. The war of stars “Reboot” was basically a fancy remake with women here, women there, look, women do it everywhere! parent magazine doesn’t often allow strong male fathers to act as camouflage in this climate. Comics creator and illustrator Todd McFarlane recently spoke about how DC would like him to make more female action figures, even if they don’t usually sell that well because the main action figure buying population is still men and little boys strong men want to see pictures.
Our men are flounders now – insecure creatures raised to hate themselves and their kind.
Men have trouble finding meaning in society because they are pushed out of it. Masculinity is denigrated while men are allowed to compete as women in sports. It’s hard to understand how humiliating and emasculating that must be.
depression and anger problems
What happens to a person who feels aimless? You are unhappy. And that’s what happens to men who listen to society’s narrative of “toxic masculinity” — they suffer from depression, anxiety, and sometimes anger issues. Men are the most likely to commit suicide, have nervous breakdowns, or simply give up on life, and these newfound compulsions do not ease their burden, they increase it.
Suicide is the 12th leading cause of death in the United States and is most common among middle-aged white men, who account for nearly 70% of all suicides. Men who are abused and hounded simply for being who they are are subjected to propaganda that teaches that they are “oppressors” who must be punished, re-educated or even killed.
It is no longer socially acceptable for men to get into arguments and fight each other, manual labor is despised and fathers are humiliated and lose out in family court. Even before they reach puberty, young boys are taught that it is wrong to be overactive or to be physically active rather than sit in the classroom all day. And that energy eventually builds up. When not allowed to put it into something productive, it boils over and can become destructive as a man’s entire purpose is shunned and the fear of being wiped out takes over.
Many of these problems are not caused by mental illness but by intrusive political ideologies.
The effects are long-lasting and far-reaching. The mental health crisis is the talk of the town, but even though we now have more mental health professionals than ever before, somehow the mental health problems have only gotten worse. Why? Because many of these problems are not caused by mental illness, but by intrusive political ideologies forced upon everyone, whether they agree with it or not. What if you disagree? Be prepared for the abandonment culture mob to be after you and your loved ones.
How can we help?
It’s never a woman’s job to “fix” a man, but we can show compassion and put an end to man-bashing. We can bring up our sons in a purposeful and balanced manner. We can be fair in relationships and give the men in our lives the support they need to reclaim their manhood.
Rather than expecting men to care for women or become “male feminists,” it would be better for everyone if women valued their male counterparts for the roles they are taking on that women can’t or won’t take on. Just as women can now be whatever they want, so can men. Rather than criticizing her way of doing things differently, let’s find a balance in her ability to be a lover, a fighter, or just a hard-working man.
It always starts at home. My sons are completely different from my daughters. They came from the womb with a desire to fight and defend. They’re also the most affectionate little creatures on the planet once they’re done protecting us from make-believe monsters. Every night my three year old redhead climbs on my lap and hugs me. He presses his freckled face against mine and declares, “I love you mom!”
We should appreciate men for the roles they take on that women can’t or won’t take on.
My youngest is much more shy than his brother and has a bit of an angelic image, but he also likes physical activity. He loves to fight and throw things playfully. This energy can be very helpful when it’s time to tidy up and I ask him to throw his toys in the toy box. And when he wants to cuddle me, he’s persistent. No one can stop him from kissing and hugging me as he is determined to express his love with as much dedication as he puts into his playful struggles.
My sons’ childhood will determine what kind of man they grow up to be. I want to raise men, not mice, so I refuse to let anyone interfere with their manhood. They are smart and follow rules easily. They are hardworking and love building things. These are the qualities that thrive best when men are not put down. They are so much more than just lovers and fighters, but these two opposing qualities are such a big part of who they are that they would be completely different people without them. Every mother, sister, daughter and cousin needs to recognize and appreciate this. You need to see more than what is portrayed in mainstream media because it does not fully reflect most of male strengths.
Many men are stuck. They can’t be who they’re supposed to be. No longer culturally allowed to be romantic lovers, fighters are also looked down on in our gentle soy boy landscape. Our men are flounders now – insecure creatures raised to hate themselves and their kind – but deep down they carry that spark of energy, that need for physical action and ingenuity. We can help them rediscover that masculinity, just as many of us have a new appreciation for traditional femininity. This can only begin with our sons and be nurtured with love for our fathers, brothers and husbands.
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