I’m not surprised that Una Healy didn’t manage to get a throuple – if I saw a lover with another woman, I’d have a shocking reaction
I REALLY don’t like the number three. And it turns out The Saturdays singer Una Healy has decided that she doesn’t either.
After posing on holiday with her former boyfriend, boxer David Haye, and his on-off girlfriend Sian Osborne just a few months ago, she now claims she was “cheated”.
To me she seemed like a willing participant who was quite comfortable with the setup.
At the time, I wrote about how strange I found the idea of a three-person relationship, even though this trio makes it seem conventional.
That doesn’t mean I think it’s wrong. Oh no, I respect people’s choices. It’s just hard for me to deal with it.
For me, relationships have always been a relationship between two people – everything else feels strange. But you live your life and do your thing, absolutely.
However, Una says in a recent podcast that she didn’t really know what she was getting into.
She was in a relationship with David and he was open to meeting other people, but she said she really enjoyed his company and liked the romance in it.
She now believes that one woman will never be enough for him.
At that time I felt two contradictory things.
First, I was thrilled that Una could do whatever she wanted: find independence independent of her children, enjoy herself as a single woman, and maybe even play in the field.
I am encouraged when older women – even though she’s only 41 – rediscover a version of herself that moves away from what she was “just” as a wife and mother.
I applaud women who break the bonds and embark on a journey of personal exploration, perhaps breaking the norm, possibly even shocking others, but in the process proving that their lives matter as much as their roles as parents and spouses.
But I also felt hesitant. I don’t know Una from Adam, but her marriage broke up after her ex, Ben Foden, was unfaithful. This can make you a little vulnerable.
She also struck me as a conventional girl when it came to relationships.
For someone, going from marriage to a three-person situation seemed like quite a reversal.
But good for her, I thought. As it turns out, three really is a crowd for Una. After all, nobody wants to be the third wheel.
And it wasn’t long after her split from David and his girlfriend that they started dating another woman. Of course, this works for them, but not for everyone.
Of course, I love the fact that we’re much more open-minded about sexuality these days.
Throuples have undoubtedly been around for generations, but now there are all sorts of variations on relationships.
“Ethical non-monogamy” seems to be popular, especially among the younger generation.
It is made clear from the start that nobody is faithful so it gives you permission to play away because there is no cheating. Is this even a relationship?
Good for you if that’s your thing. But I don’t understand the point of being with someone when you’re also with a lot of other people. Call me old fashioned. . .
I’m not the only one who doesn’t quite get the throuple thing, am I?
Is it because I am always fiercely loyal in a relationship and only devoted to that person that I would find bringing someone else into the kingdom dishonest, complicated and exhausting?
Or maybe it’s because I’m getting jealous?
I’m not talking about psychotic, insane, unreasonable jealousy, that horrible, burning feeling you get when you watch the person you love having too much fun with someone else.
Just the idea that I would bring this arrangement to the bedroom where the three of you share would, I suppose, throw me over the edge.
I would hate the idea that the person I gave my heart to could be intimate with someone else.
In the past two years on the dating scene, I’ve learned that I’m perfectly capable of NOT falling in love with every person I’m with or meet, which might have happened to me in my 20’s.
I’ve learned that I can share an experience with someone, feel like I like them and enjoy my time, BUT I can walk away easily without falling into a daze of heartache or despair like mine Twenties might have happened again.
And that’s hopeful, especially since modern dating is often dishonest, disrespectful, and soul-destroying.
So when nothing else happens, even if Una feels disappointed, disappointed, or betrayed by her experience, Una has learned what she does and doesn’t want.
She will know by now that throuling is not her thing and that there will be someone out there who wants her, and only her.
And if you do, Una, let me know if he has a best mate who likes an older woman.
I’m glad the abominable Harris was dead
Not much love is lost between the public and Rolf Harris, whose death was announced this week.
“Good release,” I say, without a shred of regret.
At the height of his fame, he was an accomplished artist with royal honors, a “popular entertainer” and musician.
But in the end the truth caught up with him and he was reduced to an old sex offender and sentenced to five years and nine months in prison.
I guess we’ll never know exactly how many victims there were. Harris was arrogant and thought he was untouchable.
Like so many abusers, he never saw his actions as wrong. If anything, he felt he had the right to touch and hurt women and girls.
The fact that he never showed remorse or even apologized to his victims is a sure sign of a man who believed that his fame, authority, and masculinity gave him carte blanche to the opposite sex.
Early in my career, when I was hosting the weather on TV, Harris was the showbiz guest one day.
The studios were set up in such a way that it was impossible not to encounter guests during the live show.
I was quite in love to be introduced to him. That was Rolf Harris, for heaven’s sake.
I held out my hand and he chose to hug me instead.
I remember finding that either really flattering or a bit pretentious. In any case, it was confusing.
Then his hand went to my butt, squeezed it a few times and stayed there for what felt like years, but probably only 30 seconds.
But it lasted long enough for my 21-year-old self to feel deeply uncomfortable and speechless.
I know I will not have been the only one who fell victim to his hands.
35 years ago we said nothing. We didn’t get in touch or confront anyone. Especially not a celebrity.
We may have come a long way in making this type of behavior unacceptable, but we still have many miles to go.
Suffice it to say, if old perv Harris had touched my butt today, he would have gotten an ankle sandwich.
Maybe it’s you, Ekin-Su
FORMER Love Island winner Ekin-Su Culculoglu claims that after going public she “lost every friend I had”.
But to put on a brave face, she says she’s happier this way.
That can certainly not be entirely true, because no woman is an island – whether Love Island or not. We all need friends.
Ekin-Su says that people don’t want to be friends with her because of her “status” and that those she’s known for ten years are no longer in her life. That sounds sad.
Then again, she doesn’t look to me like the kind of woman who would care that much — she was on a mission on the reality show and now she’s traveling the world or sitting at home counting her money.
Also, once you step into the spotlight, people are usually desperate to be friends with you. So maybe that tells you more about Ekin-Su than her friends.
Maybe it has changed and people don’t recognize the new version.
Perhaps with her newly acquired “status” she wasn’t able to keep her feet on the ground.
Whatever the truth, such a situation is primarily indicative of the state of your friendships.
It takes solid foundations, trust and honesty.
I have never surrounded myself with crowds, instead choosing to invest in a small number of credible friends who offer security, mutual respect, reliability and commitment.
Because you can’t buy something like that with a lot of money or fame.
Powerhouse Tina a great loss
There is so much to say about the late, great Queen Of Rock ‘n’ Roll, Tina Turner.
But in reality there is very little to add about this remarkable person.
She really was an icon. She came into my life when my dad introduced me to Nutbush City Limits when I was eight – which blew me away.
The power of her voice and hers hit me like a cannonball and it was impossible to sit still as she began to sing.
And seeing her dance on stage was indescribable.
Of course, as a child, I had no idea about the abuse she endured in her life, the violence, the control.
But at one point she is said to have said that her biggest beauty secret was “to be happy with myself”.
When you consider that she suffered so much in her earlier years and yet walked on stage full of strength and brilliance, you realize what an absolute legend she was.