I’m a former Playboy Bunny who married Hugh Hefner… he took so much Viagra he went deaf and made me share soup before orgies
A former Playboy bunny has revealed the realities of life behind the walls of the infamous mansion and her marriage to Hugh Hefner.
Crystal Hefner, who lives in Hawaii, was the Playboy founder’s third wife and was widowed in 2017 when he died at the age of 91.
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In her new memoir, the former bunny has opened up about her “awkward” bedroom romp, her “inflated sex doll” body and the 6pm curfew.
The 37-year-old has been in the Playoy world for a decade, half as Hefner’s wife.
Her forthcoming book, Only Say Good Things, will be released in January 2024 and is named after Hefner’s instructions given to her upon his death.
When admitting the online mail Though she says she’s “still Team Hef to an extent,” the memoir promises to reveal a more realistic portrayal of the Playboy boss.
Hefner dictated a number of things about his wife’s appearance, from the exact shade of nail polish she should wear to when her hair roots needed touching up.
According to Crystal, pink, pale, transparent nails were Hugh’s choice for nails, and matte was never an option.
To gently persuade his wife to have her hair roots renewed, he simply patted her on the head.
Recalling her old Playboy physique, Crystal said: “That boob was too big. I looked like an inflatable sex doll from China. My implants were just props, they felt like I was wearing a costume.”
She looks a lot more natural now, having given up implants and peroxide blonde hair.
Crystal also regularly goes makeup-free and barefoot when enjoying her surroundings in Hawaii.
Meanwhile, all bunnies were expected to follow Hefner’s rules while staying at the mansion.
That included a 6pm curfew for Crystal so she could be home with Hefner and have dinner with him.
The Playboy founder would always eat chicken soup with cream cheese and crackers while watching his favorite movies.
Crystal and her husband then engaged in group sex, which she described as “embarrassing.”
“It was embarrasing. I don’t know how many people were in our bedroom at one time, but – many.”
“Pretty bad. We said, ‘Oh, now it’s your turn.’ Nobody really wanted to be there, but I think in Hef’s mind he still thought he was in his forties and those nights, the people, the manor cemented that idea.
“He was like, ‘I still have it.'”
Sundays at the Playboy Mansion were special as there were regular “Sunday Fundays” where around 200 women came to the mansion.
According to Crystal, Hefner was fed so much Viagra on those days that he was deaf in one ear.
“Hef always said he’d rather be deaf and still be able to have sex. Strange,” she said.
After Crystal became his wife in 2012, he believed their relationship would become more intimate and private.
She said, “Part of me always thought if it was real love there wouldn’t be any other women in the bedroom.”
“I came to terms with that by trying to believe that Hef loved me as best he could.”
Crystal met her future husband when she was 21 and he was 81 when she was desperate to find a family she said wasn’t “broken” to belong to.
The San Diego psychology student couldn’t believe her luck when she snagged a ticket to one of Hefner’s famous Halloween parties.
The annual event has been a fixture on the calendars of many celebrities including Leonardo DiCaprio, Pamela Anderson and Brad Pitt.
Hefner and Crystal got together that night and she said, “It came straight away, straight away, it was exactly what we expected,” and she moved in.
However, Hefner’s widow revealed that their first night together was “unremarkable.”
She added, “Whatever you want, whatever you think or however you want the night to go, well it wasn’t.”
Of the age gap that intrigued viewers, Crystal admitted, “Now if this was my daughter, this wouldn’t happen.”
“All I can say is that when you have had a happy, perfect and loving childhood, you don’t usually end up with someone who is 60 at birth.
“Looking back, I feel sorry for the girl.”
Despite this, Crystal refuses to be ashamed of her choices or live with regrets.
She explained, “When the family is broken, you feel like you don’t belong anywhere.”
“You depend on the kindness of others and make yourself small to fit in. you have no power Then I met Hef.
“He lived how the other half lives. You think, ‘Wow, I could belong here too.’ At first, the Playboy Mansion felt like a sanctuary, but it wasn’t.
“But then you either stick with it or you go, and I didn’t feel like I could go anywhere else or that I could make anything of myself.”
After moving to Hawaii, Crystal wrote her book and began to build a more normal life for herself.
Returning to her passion for psychology, she has vowed to go back to her maiden name and take Dr. Crystal Harris to become PhD when she graduates.
“If I understand that, it’s over. Bye,” she said of the Hefner name and identity as a Playboy bunny.
Crystal hopes to remarry someone closer in age to her and become a mother after her eggs are frozen.
Of Hefner’s death, she said: “There’s nothing wrong with his timing. He left on time.”
“Hef’s 91-year lifespan ended on the cusp of #MeToo. Coincidence? I don’t believe.”
Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy And Finding Myself is available for pre-order at onlysaygoodthings.com.
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