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Ignore the hooah, monkeypox virus is not the new covid

Oops! monkeypox! WTF is that all? Terrible blisters all over the face. A disease from Africa that decided to come here for a while.

Transmissible from animals to humans and vice versa. Don’t s**g monkeys, then. And if you must, wear protection.

Monkeypox can be transmitted from animals to humans and vice versa

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Monkeypox can be transmitted from animals to humans and vice versa
I feel like we're being raised by people who seem longing for another pandemic (stock image)

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I feel like we’re being raised by people who seem longing for another pandemic (stock image)

There are currently 78 cases of this disease in the UK. It was largely limited to people in Africa.

It’s now spreading across Europe, mainly among the gay population – although it seems the NHS and the World Health Organization are downplaying the gay side of it.

It has also been reported that we should avoid eating meat or only eat “well done” meat.

What? You can catch it off a medium rare ribeye steak? As?

No you can’t. I feel like we’re being raised by people who seem longing for another pandemic. And another lock.

Our ailing Prime Minister has already refused to rule out a lockdown. And public health teams say anyone who has been risk-assessed for monkeypox and remains healthy should isolate at home for THREE WEEKS.

So what’s up?

The important things first. No, you can’t catch it from a medium rare ribeye steak. Or even a very rare ribeye steak. Or a chicken zinger or a pork kebab. What didn’t make the headlines was the TYPE of meat not to eat.

It turns out that monkeys, squirrels and rats are the riskiest. bushmeat.

So try to avoid eating rat biriyani, sautéed squirrel in a basket, or chateaubriand de singe (that’s chateaubriand of the monkey, you plebs). And if you can’t, ask the restaurant if it’s well cooked.

Transmissible from animals to humans and vice versa. Then don’t fuck monkeys. And if you must, wear protection.

Is it then like Covid and really easy to catch? No it is not. Pleasure with an infected person can do that, sure. Any exchange of bodily fluids is a risk. But other than that, you’re in very little danger. It is MUCH harder to catch than Covid.

does it kill you nope Almost certainly not. There’s a mortality rate between one and three percent, which is pretty high, sure. But this is mainly due to the poor health systems in the countries of West Africa, where it is widespread.

Otherwise it will be a bit uncomfortable for a couple of weeks, maybe three. And you’ll have these blisters, kinda like chickenpox. Then it will work.

But what if the virus mutates like Covid did? And will it become more contagious and deadly?

No, it almost certainly won’t. Almost all the evidence is that monkeypox is a very stable virus that does not mutate. It tends to behave.

DEATHLY unlikely

So all in all, not really much to write home about, is there? Difficult to catch, still very rare and unlikely to be deadly.

And yet we are whipped into a certain frenzy about it.

Don’t worry. People have the heebee-jeebees as a result of Covid. And now every virus that gets here causes great weeping and gnashing of teeth.

And there will always be those clamoring for another lockdown. Probably because they liked the previous ones so much.

So for the rest of us – keep up the good work. There isn’t much to see here. Unless you wanted to elope tonight with an attractive gibbon who’s been feeling down lately.


So THANK YOU to the greedy members of the RMT Transport Union for threatening to wreak havoc on the country on June 6th.

There are no trains anywhere. They are very proud of that, the union.

The country is facing rampant inflation and these selfish clowns are determined to make it worse.

The average basic UK salary for a train driver is £54,000. That’s way more than the average teacher’s salary.

The government must not give in to them.

BETWEEN DRESS AND A DIFFICULT PLACE ABOVE THE STATUE

HARD for the deranged Wokies, this.

They just unveiled a statue in Halifax to the 19th-century “Gentleman Jack” – Anne Lister, known as “the first modern lesbian.”

Actress Suranne Jones attended the unveiling of a statue in Halifax to the 19th-century'Gentleman Jack' - Anne Lister, known as'the first modern lesbian'.

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Actress Suranne Jones attended the unveiling of a statue in Halifax to the 19th-century ‘Gentleman Jack’ – Anne Lister, known as ‘the first modern lesbian’.
She who plays Lister in the BBC drama Gentleman Jack

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She who plays Lister in the BBC drama Gentleman Jack

I’m not sure why someone’s sexual preferences warrant a statue. I’m quite into women dressed up as pirates, but no one has ever suggested building a statue for me.

Anyway, actress Suranne Jones – who plays Lister in the BBC drama – attended the opening. But now it has become clear that Lister benefited from the slave trade.

oooh what to do I suggest that once the statue is unveiled, they cheer a bit and then throw it in the River Calder.


I see football violence is back with a vengeance.

Port Vale fans physically attack Swindon Town players. An Everton fan mocks Crystal Palace manager Patrick Vieira (and gets a good kick for it). Northampton fans doolally take to the pitch. A Nottingham Forest fan attacks a Sheffield United player.

Football violence is back with a vengeance

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Football violence is back with a vengeance

My first thought was that if any of this involved fans of my team, Millwall, there would be declarations in Parliament and the ground would be closed.

And secondly, will the authorities really go ahead with their plans to reinstate game standstills?

KILLER DOGS A CURSE

HERE’S another terminally deluded dog owner – Chanel Fong from Wrexham.

Here’s what she said of her American bully dog: “So many people said what a passive dog Cookie was, but Cookie didn’t attack Kev, it wasn’t a malicious attack – it was a tragic accident.”

Wrexham's Chanel Fong is finally wrong about her dog

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Wrexham’s Chanel Fong is finally wrong about her dog
American bully-type hunting dog tried to eat Chanel's partner's father

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American bully-type hunting dog tried to eat Chanel’s partner’s father

What actually happened is that Cookie tried to eat her partner’s father. And killed him in the process.

And here’s the thing. Every time I suggest that people with strong dogs have their heads examined, a whole host of similarly deluded owners will comment on what wonderful pets they make.

And more and more people are being killed.

Meanwhile, a man quoted on Reddit believes he pulled a hilarious prank by naming his dog Askim.

So when people ask his name, the owner says, “Yep, side splitting, right?”

It apparently annoys people at the park where he’s walking the pooch.

Wherever it is, they seem like a miserable bunch.

My own dog’s name is Jessie.

But she’s also known as Lionel Jessie or Didier Dogba (just like Jeremy Clarkson’s hound).

Also as Slobberdog Milosevic, after the former Serbian leader, and Otto Scamperer, after a musical conductor.

Occasionally my wife calls her Princess Pickle Paws and I sometimes call her Doggrich Dogg of Doggville.

The truth is, dogs don’t tell monkeys their names, do they?

BORIS SAVED BY WAR

GORDON BENNETT. They even had a karaoke party while the rest of us were in lockdown!

According to the famous Sue Gray, there were sixteen different parties. Or meeting. Or p***-ups, call them whatever you want. A party lasted until four in the morning.

According to Sue Gray's famous account, there were sixteen different parties at Downing Street during lockdown

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According to Sue Gray’s famous account, there were sixteen different parties at Downing Street during lockdown

On another, someone threw up and two people argued. Officials I suppose. “Say that again and I’ll shove a bottle of hand sanitizer up your butt, Oliver.” I’ll open you up like a can of peaches. ‘Have it, you Muppet.’

It’s annoying to know that from Boris Johnson on they believed the rules they imposed on the US shouldn’t apply to them. “Do what I say, not what I do. Lockdown is for plebs.”

If we ever have another lockdown, will anyone take it seriously? Knowing that YOU won’t? And the Prime Minister is lying through his teeth through all of this.

I have no doubt that if all of this had come out BEFORE Putin invaded Ukraine, Johnson would be dead by now.

He may still be dead among the voters. But the war has focused Tories’ minds and I suspect that, rightly or wrongly, Johnson will not be postponed now.

WOKE IS A JOKE

A BRILLIANT evening of entertainment with Ricky Gervais’ new show Super Nature.

The climax was an unrepeatable section where Ricky, having become a woman, pulls a lesbian. Of course the Wokies go nuts.

One said that Ricky “literally killed people” with his jokes.

Disturbed, no?

Two points. As Gervais says, jokes are fiction. They are not the same as reality. They are just jokes.

And second, any concept, idea, or belief that can’t stand a little ripping is almost certainly based on a misunderstanding.

Gervais, meanwhile, goes from strength to strength.

https://www.the-sun.com/news/5422402/monkeypox-lockdown-no-reason-worry/ Ignore the hooah, monkeypox virus is not the new covid

DevanCole

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