Halo Infinite Mongoose Sit Up Straight

Xbox owners all have fond memories of riding a mongoose with friends, bare back, wind helmet on, knees bent just enough to comfortably nestle on the back of their little Spartan friend. your. Well, not anymore. Mongoose riding in Halo Infinite has been yassified in reverse. Now it’s even simpler than a man sipping Bud Light at a BBQ while he overcooked.

If you’re sitting thinking, “What the hell are you talking about?” I completely understand your confusion. In previous Halo games, players who paired a mongoose would ride face to face the same way. Does it make the most tactical sense? Is not. But does it instill in them a sense of security, comfort and camaraderie, knowing that their brother is there for them? I like to think so. What we have now are the mountains of the Blood Gulch, everything is built on.

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Now, instead of riding like two lovers about to rob a gas station on the desert highway together, the Spartan behind had turned and sped like a real dude. Everything about the pose is super straight now, from the lazy stretch to the forearm resting on his shin. They all shouted, “No, what do you mean, man, I’m straight as an arrow. What’s so bad about two military guys hanging out together? We patrol in pairs for protection, bro. friend.” Sure, man, sure. We all know you just need a good cuddle.

Fans are, understandably, devastated by this news. We wish we knew how to get rid of you, Sheriff. One people On Twitter wrote, “Come on 343, Let me loose with my caboose brothers on the mongoose.” Again “Let me sit on the driver’s lap instead! Sometimes I get scared when I go too fast!” While a the third day correctly stated, “As if cheating wasn’t gay.” That is, dear reader. It is gay.


Halo Infinite is One in beta! We can snuggle up to a brother when we are scared. Oh good. We may have lost the harshest of all FPS seating arrangements, but we will always have Brokeba- Blood Gulch.

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