‘Fuck it, we suck’ – Newcastle were so bad under Ardiles that they once lost 1-0 to NOBODY in training

NEWCASTLE were so bad at one point that they lost to NOBODY in training as it turns out.

In the 1991/92 season, Newcastle were far from the heights they would reach as Kevin Keegan’s ‘Entertainers’ or even as today’s European hunting magpies.

Steve Howey recalled the depressing but hilarious story of Newcastle losing to nobody in training

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Steve Howey recalled the depressing but hilarious story of Newcastle losing to nobody in trainingPhoto credit: News Group Newspapers Ltd
Ex-Newcastle boss Ossie Ardiles

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Ex-Newcastle boss Ossie ArdilesCredit: PA

Instead, the club languished in the old second division of English football, with relegation beckoning under then-boss Ossie Ardiles.

Ex-defender Steve Howey recalled what was probably the lowest point of the season.

Speaking on the Undr The Cosh podcast, he shared the story of a particularly depressing workout session.

He said: “We had a training session under Ossie, it’s called shadow play. He picks his eleven, which will start on Saturday or later in the week.

“It’s your goalkeeper, a four (in defence), a four (in midfield) and a two (in attack), and you have a full-size pitch. You play against nobody, score a few goals and then come back and start over.

“So, Ossie set us up, we took the push, handed it back to Lee Clark, Lee Clark handed it back to Kevin Scott, again we’re playing backwards and we should be playing forward because it’s us. don’t play against anyone.

“Kevin Scott gives it to Steve Watson, Steve Watson turns and passes it back to Tommy Wright who is in goal but Tommy Wright has his gloves on at the back of the net and the ball goes in the goal.

“We get beaten 1-0 and don’t play any further. We were going through a really bad time back then and all you could see was Ossie bobbing his head in his hands.

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“He’s like, ‘Fuck hell boys, we’re shitty men.’ We’re beaten 1-0 and we’re not playing anyone, it was that bad.”

The Toon managed to avoid relegation that season after Keegan replaced Ardiles.

During his 12-month tenure as the club’s first foreign manager, Ardiles managed a win rate of just 23 per cent – with one win a month on the bench.

Newcastle these days have renewed vigor and are pushing for a place at the European table.

Eddie Howe’s side are currently third in the Premier League after a strong season ahead of the World Cup.

https://www.the-sun.com/sport/6878278/newcastle-losing-nobody-ossie-ardiles-premier-league/ ‘Fuck it, we suck’ – Newcastle were so bad under Ardiles that they once lost 1-0 to NOBODY in training

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