Forget Prince Harry & Meghan Markle… bring Mike & Zara Tindall

AH, Megan Markle: Damned if she did, damned if she didn’t.

After months of frantic, feverish speculation, Oprah’s best friend and her husband Harry graced the Platinum Jubilee with their presence. Albeit – mercifully – briefly.

Harry and Meg briefly honored the platinum anniversary with their presence


Harry and Meg briefly honored the platinum anniversary with their presenceCredit: PA
Zara and Mike Tindall came to the fore during the anniversary


Zara and Mike Tindall came to the fore during the anniversary

The irritated pair fly back – private jet, of course – an hour before Sunday night’s concert finale and are accused of snubbing the Queen.

Over the course of this fun, life-affirming weekend, Meghan was accused of everything from smiling “too smugly” to “trying to outdo the Queen” by wearing custom Dior.

As if just a Juicy Couture Trackie and a pair of Crocs would have been acceptable.

As she or she would loathe, this was a fight she would never win.

Kate Middleton made a subtle nod to Meghan Markle with THIS fashion accessory
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(As an aside, however, Harry and Meg had the goodness to leave the Netflix cameras at home in sunny Montecito, California.)

By breaking the famous royal omertà, the couple has arguably become outsiders in their own family.

Her constant chatter, her accusations of racism, her varied “memory reminiscences,” and Harry’s forthcoming, widely hyped tome, practically a kiss-and-tell, have ostracized her.

By preaching one thing – be it about climate change, global poverty or feminism – and then doing the exact opposite (the Jets, the £11m, 16-bathroom mansion that clings to the coattails of her title as Duchess) , Meghan didn’t do it. She didn’t do herself any favours.

And Harry with two high school seniors, speaking about daily meditation and work stress, has been similarly distant.

While the couple was honored with a small procession at St. Paul’s Cathedral, this simple balcony photo is worth a thousand words.

The Queen has set up her booth.

She wants a slimmed down, younger, fresher monarchy that will resonate with large British audiences in 10, 20 or 100 years.

That means no deserters and definitely no Prince Andrew who, conveniently for all of us, had Covid.

While H&M has stayed firmly in the background, another former royal maverick has come to the fore: Mike Tindall.

This is a man who went to a drunk midget pitcher party during the 2011 Rugby World Cup and, as a former rugger bugger, has likely sunk more yards of beer and played more grossly inappropriate drinking games than 95 percent of the general population.

But here he was, easily interacting with Prince Louis and enthusiastically waving his little union flag around during Saturday’s concert.

Royal Peacemaker

He’s a man so comfortable in his semi-royal skin that he cheerfully matches his outfit with that of his wife Zara, the Queen’s eldest granddaughter.

On the second day of the anniversary, he wore a pastel pink tie and once borrowed his wife’s pink and purple fascinator.

Last week he and William, with whom he has become incredibly close, were spotted laughing and bear hugging.

He chatted up Meghan and Harry – who he still clearly likes – over the weekend, effectively acting as a royal peacemaker.

A devoted family man, he was pictured playing soccer with his eldest daughter Mia and swings all three of his children between his legs.

Since joining the royal family, he has rarely slipped a size 12 giant boot wrong.

Though he has a podcast and social media presence, and once appeared on Channel 4’s The Jump, his anecdotes have been light-hearted and light-hearted.

No self-pitying calls for change or accusations of snobbery.

Both World Cup winner Mike, who received an MBE in 2007, and Zara, an Olympic silver medalist, are successful in their own right.

With an aging Prince Charles looking more and more like Harry Enfield every day, it’s vital that Mike and Zara get more attention.

As our elected leaders implode themselves, our unelected leaders must be given a chance to shine.

The little prince was the biggest anniversary star

AND so a star was born.

Unanimously, little Louis Cambridge stole the show at the Jubilee.

Louis Cambridge pulls a face in the Royal Box during the Queen's Platinum Jubilee


Louis Cambridge pulls a face in the Royal Box during the Queen’s Platinum JubileePhoto credit: Getty
Mum Kate with Louis - who stole the show at the anniversary


Mum Kate with Louis – who stole the show at the anniversary

But of all the hilarious, grumbling, ear-covering and finger-pointing pictures taken over the bank holiday long weekend, this is hands down my favourite.

Here he looks like he’s at Cinderella’s nightclub at 2am ready to have a fight with the bouncer.

Talking him down is sober mate/mom Kate, who restrains the boy and says, “He’s not worth it Louis, sit back down.”


Family rules stupid

AND here is everything wrong with social services.

Yorkshire shepherd Amanda Owen says she received a formal warning from local authorities for letting her children do things like climb trees and scrape their knees.

Amanda Owen said:'I got a yellow flag from social services'


Amanda Owen said: ‘I got a yellow flag from social services’Photo credit: Twitter

The exceedingly healthy mother of nine said: “I got a yellow flag from social services. . . I think there’s a happy medium, which is letting the kids climb trees.

“Yes, they don’t have harnesses or hard hats, but I believe there are some lessons to be learned that don’t necessarily result in instant death, but actually learn your own parameters.”

These are seemingly happy, warm-hearted, nature-loving children who live in a beautiful farmhouse in the Yorkshire Dales.

Children who have a horde of farm animals to play with who are deliberately not spoiled with brain-numbing game consoles.

If this isn’t an idyllic childhood, then I don’t know what is.

Given the many times social services have notoriously and tragically failed our children — especially during the pandemic — such a lack of common sense is incredibly stupid.

Lofty BBC so devout

In the last 72 hours we’ve seen both the very best and the very worst of the BBC.

The state broadcaster’s coverage of the platinum anniversary was exemplary. Smooth, fun, and bug-free from start to finish.

Host Kirsty Young proved to be an unwavering, reassuring and knowledgeable presence


Host Kirsty Young proved to be an unwavering, reassuring and knowledgeable presencePhoto credit: BBC

In her first TV appearance in more than four years, Kirsty Young also demonstrated an unwavering, reassuring and knowledgeable presence. More Kirsty, please.

The concert itself was brilliant and full of superstars – with the possible exception of Alicia Keys, who gave a startling tribute to her native New York, before kicking off Empire State Of Mind, an ode to Manhattan, with a cursory mention of London on the podium at the end — and was seen by 14 million of us.

But then, after all the good work, aunty goes and settles down the way only she can. In his never-ending PC wisdom, the Beeb issued a needless apology, clearly terrified he would face racist calls.

Former stern judge Len Goodman had told Kirsty that his (long-dead) grandma called Coronation chicken and curry powder “foreign dirt”. Cue stampede from BBC managers.

As a result, later in the show, poor Clare Balding was given the hospital pass and had to apologize if “anyone took offense.”

Len is 78. He told a story about comments his relative made 30 years ago.

Like it or not, this type of comment was circulating in homes at the time.

As someone whose grandma Gorgonzola happily referred to as “alien crap,” such an overreaction is not only embarrassing, it ridicules the very idea of ​​free speech.

The BBC should not try to rewrite history – and such censorship is not far removed from Chinese state media.

Aunt needs to lose her piety and focus on what she does best – fun, frivolity, and accurate reporting.

Jill is just awesome

JOE BIDEN needs to drive his wife out more.

In one fell swoop, Dr. Jill absolutely sympathized with her hitherto dimwitted husband.

In an interview with Harper’s Bazaar, she revealed that the couple argues — or “fext” — over text messages to air their dirty laundry in front of Secret Service agents.

After she texted him in a fit of anger, he told her, “You know this is going to go down in history. Records will be kept of this” – an indication that all communications from the President will be kept for historical records.

In a sentence wives everywhere can relate to, she added, “I won’t tell you what I called him back then.”

Betting on a postcard.

Step up your game

TELETUBBIES’ butt has really upped their fashion game lately.

Naomi Campbell poses with the Teletubbies at the Jubilee People's Pageant


Naomi Campbell poses with the Teletubbies at the Jubilee People’s PageantPhoto credit: Instagram

LOVE Island is back. With the usual handsome suspects and candidates liking every fourth word, each one beckons a soul-crushing career in influence.

Even more depressingly, however, is that Gemma Owen, daughter of ex-footballer Michael, is a favorite to win.

I vividly remember her father’s miracle goal against Argentina at the 1998 World Cup – five years before the stunning Gemma was born.

Forget cops, when you reference Love Islanders’ parents, you know you’re officially over it.

SOME essential, spine-tingling listening on Radio 4 this afternoon.

Exactly how The Hidden History Of The Front Door – which has been described as an opportunity to “discover the hidden meanings of the front doors that have protected our homes and expressed our individuality” – was ever commissioned I will never know. Forget Prince Harry & Meghan Markle… bring Mike & Zara Tindall


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