US was told this week that motorists using self-driving cars can watch films on the dashboard screen, but are not allowed to text on a phone as it would be too distracting.
Right. I understand. So it’s okay to watch James Bond attempt to strangle a man in a runaway helicopter over the crowded streets of Mexico City.
And it’s okay to watch Sharon Stone cross her legs.
But it’s not okay to send a quick text message that says, “Be home in ten.”
Who writes these rules? Children? Dogs? I suspect they are officers working from home. This is another way of saying “don’t do any work”.
Transport Secretary Trudy Harrison thinks the proposals make perfect sense.
But this is a woman who did an undergraduate degree in Sustainable Communities at university. And now wants to open a deep mine in her constituency.
The fact is, we either think driverless cars are perfectly safe for getting around alone. In this case, you can do whatever you want behind the wheel.
Or we don’t think they’re totally safe, why on earth are we even considering them?
I’ve driven cars with driver assistance before, and they’re scary because they’re fine about 95 percent of the time, but then they suddenly do something crazy.
That’s fine for a laptop or phone, but absolutely not fine for a car.
Even with something as simple as cruise control, it can be a nightmare.
You’re cruising down the freeway at 70 km/h as danger approaches, and in the split second it takes to find the off switch or brake pedal, it feels like you’ve accelerated to Mach 6.
Honestly, I’d rather drive the damn car myself. It’s not hard to do. Even Maureen managed to learn eventually.
And I’d much rather have a car that’s just a car. Because a driverless car – and that’s guaranteed – has a brain on board that under certain circumstances will be instructed to kill you.
Given a choice of hitting a group of school kids or a giant oak tree, head into the tree. And that’s what you paid money for – a machine that contains instructions to end your life.
ASSIGN THEM TO KILL
To make matters worse, we’re told you can only watch movies or TV shows at speeds below 60km/h, and only if you’re traveling in single file with other cars.
So that means you’re all sitting in boring steel pods and rolling after someone else in another boring steel pod.
Why not just use the train?
It goes damn fast and even comes with a chauffeur. Who has no orders to ever kill you.
PEOPLE are running around and waving their arms in the air when they learn that you can now have your thumb microchipped, meaning you don’t need a debit card to pay.
You simply wave your hand over the scanner.
I can’t see what’s wrong with that.
It’s very difficult to lose your thumb, and if you put chips in your kids, you can track them down like dogs.
SLOWCOACH AMBER JUST LOVES TO BE HEARD THE WAY
BACK in 2011, the folks at Amber Heard called to ask the producers of Top Gear if she could be a star in a reasonably priced car.
Immediately, the producer replied, “Amber who?”
They explained that she was a lesbian petrolhead who loved muscle cars, so we signed her straight away.
And then the day she was supposed to be filmed, her people said she wasn’t really a lesbian and couldn’t drive a manual.
On the track, she proved to be slower than then-BBC political correspondent Nick Robinson and former Essex Sun Girl Peta, 23.
Still, she got what she wanted. A little more fame.
IN Kummer the fans are united
SO, in the seventh minute of Tuesday’s game between Manchester United and Liverpool, the entire crowd stood up and applauded Cristiano Ronaldo, whose young son had died so tragically a few hours earlier.
He may have come from hated Man Utd but at a time like this everyone needs to put small differences aside and focus on what really matters.
However, saying everyone, I have to admit that there was one Liverpool fan I saw in pictures the next day who opted for very different hand gestures instead.
Undoubtedly, he is an avid Twitter user.
I HAVE MY FIX FROM ‘FLIX
FOR ONCE I agree with Elon Musk.
He says Netflix’s “wake-mind virus” is making many of its shows unwatchable.
And that’s why it’s started to bleed the viewers.
I wasted a few hours this week digging through something called Anatomy Of A Scandal. Sienna Miller was good and the lighting was lavish.
But the constant attacks on the awfulness of rich white men became tiring after about nine seconds.
Sir Attenborough is a rich white man.
But in the weird world of Netflix, we should all go to his house and throw rocks through the windows.
To reduce consumption of Russian gas, government employees in Italy have been ordered to turn down their heating and air conditioning systems.
And under the rules of what is known as Operation Thermostat, those who refuse will be fined a whopping £2,500.
But that won’t work because, as an Italian friend of mine once said, “In Italy you can have as many laws as you want, as long as they aren’t enforced.”
This is why everyone drives at about 4,000 miles per hour without a seat belt.
Dig deep for sad Nellie
A FRIENDLESS b*****d with an incredibly small penis went to Botswana this week and shot dead the country’s largest elephant after paying $50,000 to an organized hunting group.
The poor thing was over 50 years old and his tusks alone weighed 91 kg.
Botswana is probably the best run country in Africa so you wouldn’t think they would allow something like that.
But the government there says licensed hunting is important, as it brought in $2.7 million last year.
Which got me thinking.
There are a lot of very rich people in the world and many often talk about their green and clean environmental friendliness. Right.
Well, here’s an idea. Pay the Botswana government $2.71 million a year. . . when they stop hunting.
Everyone wins. Especially poor old Nellie.
Kudos to Piers Morgan. It was quite a coup to get Donald Trump to agree to an interview for his new TalkTV show.
Let’s hope he can maintain the high standard and join Vladimir Putin next week instead of finishing second at last year’s Love Island.
I received a message on social media this week from a woman saying that all farmers in the world should stop farming immediately.
She pointed out that it fills rivers with chemicals, poisons the air and kills the soil.
“The best thing you can do is just naturalize the land and leave it alone,” she said.
Apparently, this is a woman who thinks groceries are growing off the shelves at Co-Op and Lidl.
But the fact is, if the farmers stopped farming and gave the land back to the badgers and wanderers, the world’s stomachs would be growling in about two weeks.
https://www.the-sun.com/news/5183029/driverless-cars-pointless-kill-you/ Driverless cars are pointless – and they have built-in instructions to kill you