IN the world of fantasy politics, Boris Johnson waits for the right moment, gathers his allies and storms back into Parliament to the applause of the cheering crowds.
He reclaims the Tory crown – which is his due anyway – crushes Remainer opponents and installs a thoroughly tax-cutting Conservative government.
For his many fans, this is anything but fantasy.
They live for the second coming.
Boris himself, who is seething about being expelled from Parliament at gunpoint, has made it clear he will come back.
“I’ve never seen him so angry and vengeful,” says one of his closest allies.
Still others believe the waters are already closing, barely a weekend after his shock resignation as Uxbridge MP.
“He left waving Union Jacks, if you will, rather than being dragged kicking and screaming out of Parliament,” says former Downing Street adviser Guto Harri.
In the words of Cabinet Secretary Grant Shapps: “The world has moved on.”
wishful thinking maybe.
But so far only two Tory MPs, Nadine Dorries and Nigel Adams, have joined Johnson’s march from Parliament.
A few more stand on resignation watch.
Other die-hard supporters have made it clear that their loyalty to the Tory party still outweighs their devotion to St Boris.
Rishi Sunak and his Downing Street team are delighted with Boris’ back.
More importantly, many former fans are fed up with the non-stop BoJo psychodrama.
They are enraged by claims of an unlikely conspiracy between Rishi and Labor Party’s Harriet Harman to kick Boris over Partygate.
Few believe the lurid allegations of a “dishonorable Downing Street fraud” about Boris’ crossed nobility list.
Moreover, there is no desire for another suicidal change at the top.
So BoJo’s days as party leader appear to be over, unless. . .
Unless there is an oven-ready political machine waiting for a charismatic right-of-centre leader to break with stale bipartisan politics.
Formerly known as Ukip, Reform is ready to welcome him immediately.
In fact, an offer is anything but in the mail.
TalkTV genius Richard Tice is the current leader but has yet to step out of party leader Nigel Farage’s shadow.
Farage himself has a high regard for Boris for winning over the 17.4 million Brexit voters – more than half of the UK electorate in 2016.
A grateful Farage can claim he secured part of Boris’ 80-seat majority by barring Brexit Party candidates from running against the Tories in 2019.
The excitement of this landmark victory has since gone awry.
The reform has crushed millions of dour Tories who feel betrayed by the government’s failure to regain control, curb immigration and help small businesses.
Private polls suggest four million are poised to back the reform when the next election comes around.
That number would double if Farage returned to combat.
With Boris on board, it could double again.
Is this a dream ticket or just another version of fantasy politics?
First, Boris is totally opposed to Reform’s call to stop the small boats and turn back asylum scammers.
As London mayor, he called for an amnesty for the hundreds of thousands who were already here.
Second, Reform is hostile to Boris’ net-zero green crusade.
Third, partnering with Farage – seen by many voters as the true hero of Brexit – could be Mission: Impossible.
Is there room for two huge egos in the same group?
But Brexit is the only issue that identifies both men.
Without Ukip’s threat to Tory election hopes, David Cameron would never have offered a referendum.
And without Boris Johnson’s magnetic pull as leader of the Leave campaign in 2016, voters from all parties might not have voted for Brexit.
“Historically, Boris has only one legacy. . . Brexit,” says one reform enthusiast.
But Boris achieved that legacy through an almost effortless process of simply being himself – easy-going, goofy, frugal, incredibly messy.
He garnered public sympathy by going off-piste, forgetting his script, flying his shirttails, and hanging from a zipline.
Building a minority party like reform into an instrument of government requires commitment, self-discipline, long-term planning, attention to detail, and single-minded determination.
Does that sound like BoJo’s thing?
Nick is stolen
Former SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon has been arrested by police over an alleged £600,000 gaping hole in her party’s Indyref campaign coffers.
Husband Peter Murrell, party leader for almost a quarter of a century, has already been arrested after a £60,000 luxury motorhome allegedly funded by the SNP was seized outside his mother’s house.
This represents a hammer blow for the troubled new SNP boss Humza Yousaf, who had to accept a ten percent drop in the polls.
And a political lottery gamble for Sir Keir Starmer and his hopes for an outright Labor majority in 2024.