Bambi might get teased for her name, but who cares if you helped make Molly-Mae the world’s greatest mumfluencer?

ANOTHER day another slut gave birth and roars to show off her beautiful little bundle of joy.

Usually, the new mom, immaculately made up, holds her tot in perfectly manicured hands against the backdrop of a lavish nursery.

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I myself can hardly wait for the puking and the sleepless nights. Doesn’t look so perfect then.

This time it’s reality “star” Molly-Mae Hague, who has had a daughter with partner Tommy Fury.

She’s getting trolled for naming the newborn Bambi – but I guess why not?

it’s cute enough

Although her daughter may not like the name by school age.

Or start dating.

So I chose a good trainspotter name for my youngest – Malcolm.

One cannot contradict that.

But much has been made of Molly-Mae’s eye-catching nursery, which includes a modern acrylic crib (whatever that is) priced at around £5,000.

Of course, much of the criticism is based on envy.

Molly-Mae can do whatever she wants with her money.

But it reminded me of the pressure I felt to have everything perfect before the birth of my first baby.

That seemed to be all that mattered – neutral colors, the latest products of the highest quality.

Until my English nana softly reminded me that she just put her firstborn in the top drawer of her bedroom dresser – and he turned out fine.

It was an important lesson.

It is all too easy to focus on perfection when pre-arrival health and well-being should be paramount.

Babies just need to be fed and held and kept warm.

My subsequent babies were probably greeted with less silliness, especially since my second child’s congenital heart defect meant I didn’t even know if I’d be bringing home a little one.

Ordinary mortals can only dream of a nursery like that of little Bambi, who will completely forget the exuberance that surrounds her.

But then I guess Bambi isn’t just any old newborn.

She will help make Molly-Mae one of the greatest mumfluencers.

Nevertheless, she is welcome in the world.

Kids need to learn about sex, but not from pop videos like Sam’s

NOW I’m not a prude.

I am not easily shocked.

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But Sam Smith has caused outrage in many places.

Some have accused the singer of hypersexualized dancing in the music video for I’m Not Here To Make Friends, claiming it’s a normalization of pornography.

There are corsets, suspenders and nipple tassels.

Beds are bumped, both by men and women in bondage underwear.

Dancers are on all fours with asses in the air, spinning and simulating sex.

The whole theme has strong orgy undertones.

With lyrics like, “If you want it bad tonight . . . “Nobody can deny that the video is provocative.

I could argue that this is art.

But it’s also pornographic.

And with its accessibility on YouTube, it can potentially reach children as young as five — and that might be a conservative guess.

I am not offended.

I love Sam Smith’s music and voice.

But the criticism carries weight.

I was confused

It’s no coincidence that a new report from Children’s Commissioner Dame Rachel de Souza tells us that a quarter of children were exposed to porn before leaving primary school, and one in 10 children saw it by the age of nine.

As someone who was exposed to porn at too tender an age, from a carefree father who left hardcore magazines lying around our apartment and even let me casually and irresponsibly witness his sexual acts, I know how damaging it can be.

It distorts your view of sex and relationships, so with my concurrent kindergarten sex education going on, no wonder I was confused.

In education I was taught about the biology of gender, but at home it felt sinful.

None of the scenarios suggested indulgence or pleasure.

Porn is increasingly geared towards sexual violence against women and its normalization.

And it’s widespread — 47 percent of people ages 16 to 21 say girls expect sex to involve physical aggression, according to Dame Rachel’s report.

It’s really special when a 16-year-old girl thinks it’s normal for her boyfriend to restrict her airway when he goes for the first kiss.

I was shocked to learn that Twitter is the platform where most porn is viewed by children – 41 percent saw it there.

So social media.

Once again.

I’m a liberal parent.

I’m a liberal adult.

I believe our children should be educated about sex and relationships as soon as possible.

It can be designed to be age appropriate.

You may know me as a nudity advocate, but it goes without saying that many people blur the lines between the naked body and a sexual act.

The two are not always inextricably linked.

As a society we have had a major problem with our children being sexualized for years and no one seems to know what to do about it.

If you don’t apply parental controls, there are few restrictions on what kids see on YouTube.

So they can more or less stream what they like at home, but proof of age is required at the cinema.

We allowed porn normalization.

Also, when we educate children about sex, we omit reference to pleasure—it’s for discipline or brutality.

Then we wonder why this has such an impact on children’s understanding of sex.

And it’s just as harmful to boys as it is to girls.

While we’ve worked hard to protect girls and promote an understanding that they shouldn’t put up with threatening situations, put up with occasional sexism, and verbal or sexual assault, we forget that the conversation needs to be with boys.

We have taught girls to protect themselves and to understand what is and is not acceptable, but we have not proactively gotten boys to teach them that what they see on screen or online is not normal.

Porn isn’t real life and the age of exposure is getting lower and lower.

Free for all

Sex education and its timing, form and approach have been delayed for too long.

So much so that the kids have left us and are teaching themselves.

We’ve also slept at the wheel as online platforms have made it a free proposition for everyone, regardless of age.

I’m afraid we stopped it too late, but I hope the latest report is a serious wake-up call for parents who need to have conversations with their children, for the government with a chance to make significant changes to the Online Safety Bill, and to Schools that need to invest more in co-teaching about sex and relationships.

But perhaps most of all to the social media platforms that have become pimps.

I don’t care much for those who reject sex and relationship education.

It’s more important than ever.

Besides, I didn’t come here to make friends.

PSYCHOTOME SO APPROPRIATE

Every few years there comes a TV series that grabs you by the short hairstyles.

Happy Valley was that for me and tomorrow night this brilliant drama from Sally Wainwright ends.

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Sarah Lancashire (as Catherine Cawood) is stunning as always.

But of course it’s James Norton, portraying the psychopath Tommy Lee Royce, that has captivated us all.

No doubt we’re seduced by his good looks and infatuated with his confidence, but at heart the man is a psychopath.

According to one criminologist, one in 100 people is a psychopath (nine out of ten are men), and it’s frighteningly easy to be so seduced by people with risk-taking personalities.

We are dazzled by the ease with which they say and do strange, dangerous things.

They are incapable of feeling emotions like the rest of us.

So, the red flags are there, but somehow, blinded by good looks, charm, and excitement, they begin to fade to a more acceptable pink.

Tommy Lee has been dubbed the “hottest psychopath of all time” by many on social media – making it all the easier to forget the evil that drives him.

A number of endings were filmed so there would be no leaked spoilers and my mind has gone wild with the various scenarios I envision for Royce to meet a truly bitter ending.

But deep in my heart I know I will miss this menacing character.

Strange what attraction does to you. . . then I wonder why I have an unsuccessful dating life.

EMILY’S SPOT ON REFUSING TO BE SILENCED BY PERVERS

I HAVE Emily Atack’s documentary Asking For It? with empathy and interest.

She is a strong, confident, talented woman yet has been worn down by constant inappropriate sexual comments, sexism, threats and humiliation on social media.

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Men send her dirty texts and obnoxious sexual pictures of themselves – all unsolicited.

She’s not the only woman to have experienced this, of course, but it takes courage to shed light on this online abuse.

As women, we are told to just turn off our phones and ignore them.

But we shouldn’t have to do that.

Once again the blame lies with the woman who changes her behavior because of a man’s inability to be decent.

As a blonde, big breasted young woman of Swedish descent, I received a lot of false attention in my teens and twenties.

Probably my 30’s and 40’s too, come to think of it.

I just took it by the chin.

Like Emily, I probably blamed myself in a distorted way — was it the size of my boobs, my makeup?

Nowadays it’s hard for women to ignore it because it’s on our phones.

I’m glad Emily made the documentary.

We shouldn’t be silenced just because men think we’re easy targets.

Or because they send unsolicited messages and pictures simply because they can.