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5 Badass The Rock Games Could Make Movies About

Can you smell The Rock… playing? After decades of suffering from miserable adaptations and bin Uwe Boll bargains, we finally have a few hit video game movies. Sonic the Hedgehog and Detective Pikachu have been successful enough to convince Hollywood that big-budget video game movies are finally a safe investment, and as expected, all the major players are looking into it. Which IP is ripe for the big screen, including Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson.

To its credit, The Rock is no stranger to video game movies. He played Sarge in 2005’s Doom alongside Karl Urban and Rosamund Pike, and he’s also the lead in 2018’s Rampage (not the Uwe Boll one). The Rock doesn’t exactly capture the sudden trend of video game adaptations, but hopefully he’s finally gearing up to make a good one.

All we know about The Rock’s next movie is that it’s based on “one of the biggest, worst games.” That might not narrow it down much, but here are some educated guesses about what that movie might be. I base these theories on two metrics: A. What I think The Rock considers lousy, and B. What games I think Rock would be suitable for. As I will demonstrate, it really is most Game. Start.

Gears Of War


Gears of the Rock

All characters in Gears of War Based on The Rock. Even the one that Dave Bautista is literally based on is The Rock. Bautista has been vocal about starting a Gears movie, and Hollywood would want nothing more than to finally put those two in a movie together. Gears has an amazing image. Between Hammer of Dawn, the Swarm, the Locust Horde and an arsenal of weapons like Lancer and Dropshot, Gears is poised for a big screen adaptation. The only problem is that Bautista is clearly going to play Marcus, but The Rock needs the highest payout.

Bloodborne


Rockborne

If we’re talking iconography and big screen potential, nothing comes out on top Bloodborne. The gothic action genre was popular in the mid-’00s thanks to movies like Van Helsing and Underworld, but they’ve always been pretty tight-knit and never broken into the weird body-horror genre that makes Bloodborne so daring and original. The only thing that could make a Bloodborne movie better is having Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson recount esoteric lectures about the pale moon and the communion of old blood. The Rock could play another regular military guy from a shooter like Battlefield or Call of Duty, but I wanted him to make a bold choice. Talk about:

Bayonetta


Rockenetta

I searched “badass game” on Google and got a WatchMojo listing with Doom at number one, so props for The Rock, he was way ahead of the curve. The second is Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, a game based on a movie, technically, and I don’t think the world is ready yet for a movie based on a game based on a movie. That brings us to third place: Bayonetta 2. It seemed like a giant leap to cast Dwayne Johnson as Bayonetta, a long-legged, raven-haired seductress who nearly forced Smash Bros Ultimate to raise the age rating in Japan because she was too sexy for her. children – but I think he can do it. In fact, I’m picturing The Rock in that black bodysuit right now, and I like what I’m seeing.

God of War


Kratock

Some say The Rock doesn’t have much range, but neither does Kratos. If The Rock can turn his charms and charisma into uncontrollable rage, the rest is just molding them and creating motions that stab CGI monsters. I’d love to see The Rock get Kratos back to basics – i.e. killing the Greek Pantheon with chains while screaming at the bottom of his lungs – but I’m willing to skip the gratuitous sex scenes and playful attitude towards killing women. You know, maybe we’re not really making movies about God of War.

Killer


Agent 74

I always find it funny that a bald white man can go anywhere in the world and blend in seamlessly. Agent 47 may be the master of camouflage at a militia camp in rural Colorado, but he’s sure to stand out in a small Columbia village or in the midst of an uprising in Marrakesh. The next Hitman movie should address this inherent absurdity by picking up The Rock. Imagine The Rock dressed as a waiter to sneak into a spa in Beijing to assassinate a corrupt diplomat. Imagine him trying to blend into the crowd at Daytona after assassinating a race car driver. That would be the worst/best actor choice ever.

Next: Not for broadcasting is the best FMV game you’ll ever play



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TaraSubramaniam

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